


If Winter Ends

by busaikko



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-31
Updated: 2005-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-09 17:14:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/busaikko/pseuds/busaikko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where will all that anger go?</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Winter Ends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [occasusvenustas](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=occasusvenustas).



> Beta by liseuse. Title from song by Bright Eyes.

"So." Snape stared at the man on his doormat. With a suitcase. "Come to make amends, Lupin?"

  


Teeth, too many of them to be called a smile. "No. I've come to make you suffer. Personally." Lupin shoved Snape inside, somehow shutting the door behind him. He glanced around the flat once, predatorily, and then walked with long, knowing strides back towards the bedroom.

  


Snape had his wand out and _would not_ lower himself to stalk after Lupin spluttering indignation. He took a deep breath, and then another, before walking down the corridor, making his boot heels a threatening staccato.

  


Lupin had the suitcase open and was moving his clothing into Snape's wardrobe. Snape sucked his breath in as the rage screamed like a cyclone in his head.

  


"_Expeliarmus_," Lupin said over his shoulder. "_Accio Severus' wand_." It snapped into his outstretched hand and disappeared. _Sleight of hand_, Snape thought dismissively. Lupin was a tricky bastard.

  


Which was why the buttons on his shirt were slipping open, one by one, from the neck down.

  


"Do you think," he said, voice low with barely-repressed fury, "that you can just walk in here and--"

  


"And what, Snape?" Lupin turned around. "Make you _apologise_? God forbid, make you _want_ to be redeemed in my eyes? No." His mouth twisted again in that non-smile; his eyes made Snape recall that he was a Dark Creature. "But I can make you writhe." He waved his hand, and the shirt slipped down off Snape's shoulders, ghosted down to the floor.

  


"Oh, are we having hate sex now? Shall I go spread myself out on the bed for you?"

  


Lupin's eyes narrowed at that before he could school his expression. "You can spread yourself out or I can do it for you. I'm not particular." He pulled off his own shirt and dropped his trousers, shoved off his shoes.

  


"I'm not in the mood for playing games with you, Lupin."

  


"_It's not a fucking game_," Lupin roared, and Snape was thrown sideways through the air, hitting the side of the bed hard, that unseen force rolling him over to rest, gasping for air, in the centre of the bed. Lupin moved with speed, straddling him, holding his chest down so that he couldn't breathe. "No winners," Lupin said harshly. "No losers."

  


"There is always," Snape ground out, "a loser." He reached up, grabbed fistfuls of Lupin's hair and pulled him down. Hard mouth met hard mouth, teeth and tongues like weapons. Lupin hadn't shaved: the sharpness of his stubble burnt. He was heaviness and sharp bones prodding against Snape's skin. _Bastard_, Snape thought, and twisted his legs to throw Lupin off to the side, rolling in turn above him. He bit Lupin's tongue rather badly in the process, and Lupin swore against his mouth.

  


"Shame, shame, Lupin," Snape said, smirking. "What would _Potter_ say?" he asked, grinding his hips down on the name. "What would _Minerva_ say? They all think you're so _nice_, don't they?" He slid one hand down to twist Lupin's nipple to emphasize his words. "You. Are. Not. _Nice_."

  


Lupin rotated his hips against Snape's cock, his fingers digging into his arse. "Good thing you don't like nice, then," he said, and sank his teeth into Snape's neck.

  


"Fuck." Snape jerked back, and Lupin's teeth met with a snap. "Thoughtless idiot."

  


"Aren't I, though?"

  


He could not stand to look at those mocking eyes without wanting to strike out, to beat the arrogance out of the man. He sat back and shoved Lupin's shoulder up. "Turn over."

  


"Like that, is it?"

  


"Yes, just like that." Snape got up to undress and grab the jar that was still in the drawer of the bedside table, damn it. Lupin stretched out on his stomach, watching him. Passive as a land mine, and Snape despised him for being here. He pulled Lupin's arse up, slicked his cock, and shoved in with no preparation. He wanted Lupin to hurt, to burn, to yell, to beg him to stop, but the cursed man was silent. Snape found he got very little satisfaction from the whiteness of Lupin's knuckles as he fisted the sheets. He pulled back and thrust in hard, and Lupin's hips shook with the effort of staying still under the assault. Then Lupin's damnable self-control kicked in. Snape felt the body beneath him relax and open, felt Lupin move to meet him.

  


"Don't just take it, damn you," Snape said, digging his fingers into Lupin's hips. "God, what wouldn't you do? It's pathetic," he said, sneering even as he stroked past Lupin's prostate. Lupin made a strangled noise, back arching, forehead cradled on one arm while his other hand fought for purchase on the sheets. "Tell me you hate me. Tell me to go to hell."

  


"I can't," Lupin said from behind the fall of his hair, and then he did cry out as Snape struck him. Three times, hard enough to leave stark white marks that flushed dully; three times, and then Snape was coming hard, fingers digging into Lupin's bruised flesh, breath ragged and broken, eyes falling shut despite himself. Lupin lay still beneath him. Snape pulled away from and out of him as if acquiescence might be catching, stretching out on the bed carefully so that nowhere did their bodies touch.

  


He was vaguely aware of Lupin shifting, turning on his side; watching him most likely.

  


When Lupin spoke his voice was even; but then, Snape thought that Lupin would never again let him see his tears. "You're not to drive me away any more."

  


"No?"

  


"Nor to try this again." Lupin's fingers whispered across the bandages on Snape's arms.

  


"And you think you'll be able to stop me?"

  


"No," Lupin said, shifting just enough that his head rested low against Snape's shoulder. "The only person who can stop you is you. All I can do is witness, and wait."

  


"Moving in again, are you?" Lupin sighed. "You can't hold onto me forever," Snape said, and one hand went to Lupin's hair against his will.

  


"I know. I know." Lupin was warm but not warm enough to keep the chill of the room off. The sun crawled low to the horizon and the darkness rose together with the cold evening wind that shook the windows in their frames.

  


"You know nothing, Lupin," he said, and tugged the blanket up to cover them both.


End file.
